Welcome to Emily is live with me Emily Dolan Davies, come and hang out whilst I share my experiences in the music industry, you can ask me questions live. And we can get one step closer to your professional dream. Hello Hello Hello Welcome once again to Emily is live. This is great. I've been in the room already we've already got a tonne of people in which is always fun when people are waiting in so we've already had me sell from Brazil, he was first in so hello to you may sell. Matthew North is in as well who I saw at the weekend because I did a couple of shows with Kim, and he was there and I basically went to go see him in the pit, thinking that my pass would be fine, I have a triple A pass I can go in the pit. Anyway, there was a fellow who did not agree, and I managed to sneak in and say hello to Matt for probably about a minute and then I had to run out again so that was a bit upsetting but anyway, I got to see your map, albeit briefly and I saw you on stage so that's fine. And who else is in Cobain say hello car. We also have disaster came in when these guys been called into work so hello to the disaster hello and goodbye gramme Walmart is already in David frontman Dave limits is already in, I mean, yeah, it's just awesome already. So yes, welcome to another week of Emily as live, this is a live podcast, funnily enough, I know the key is in the title, and this week I want to talk about something that is. It's something that has kind of been an underlying factor I think of my career and how I run my life basically. And it's about negative thoughts, which sounds horrendous, on the surface but actually I realised that, although I think a lot of us suffer with negative thoughts negative self talk, all that sort of stuff. But I think if you can find a way to use it in a positive way, then it's actually a really really useful tool so I'm going to literally give you an insight into my brain, first of all, so apologies for that. But I'm going to give you some like actual examples of ways that I have thought in the past and what, what that's led to what that has made me like how I've used it in a positive way. So, that is the plan for today. And with that I'm going to delve right in here. So, um, and without turning this into like a therapy session which I do not want to do. I basically have always had this underlying thought, that is, I'm not good enough. And that has really spent the whole of my life, I've no idea where it comes from, I really don't care to be honest, it just is what it is and there we go. And although, as I say on the surface that can be quite a negative thought and make you feel quite bad it's actually been really really really positive for my career. And the reason for that is because with anything, this is what I've learned with anything with any negative thought or anything like that. I try to distil it down to what that actually means and make that be a positive thing and what I mean by that is right. I am not good enough, that as a thoughts. What does that mean, okay, well, if I'm not good enough, then that means that I just need to work harder. So what does that mean. Well that means that my skill level is going to go up. So what does that mean, why she that's a really positive thing is coming from a negative initial place but actually, that just means that I'm going to be better at what I do so. Actually, that's a good thing. And that's what I do with any negative thought that I have more recently because I've been to CBT and things like that I'm very open about that I think CBT is a wonderful thing I would suggest it for anyone that is in two minds about it, go try it out. I've benefited greatly from it. It stands for cognitive behavioural behavioural therapy that is big, and, and, yeah, I found it really really useful it's it's kind of like a talking therapy type thing but it's yeah, it works for my brain. But anyway, what I learned in that space as well, was to challenge it and say, Okay, I'm not good enough. Well, let's have a think about things that I am good at, and build a case against that thought almost like gather evidence and that also has really helped me too. So, you know, I remember the first time I did it with a therapist, and the guy was like, Look, it doesn't even need to be about your career or anything like what are you just good at and all that. I didn't know. I'm good at. I guess I'm okay, like cooking food, and he's like, great, that's one. I was like, I guess, I, I care about people. For years, that's great and then we sort of like built this list and then it did come around to sort of like drumming and Korea and the things that I was feeling really insecure about when I was feeling insecure about everything. But yeah, so building a case is good but let's stick with the this sort of like, okay, But what does that mean, if you can challenge your negative thoughts like that so I'll give you a second one, which is, they're not going to want me because I'm a girl so that's relating to, you know, a drumming job or whatever and you know, this has been my experience. And that, you know, it is what it is. I'm okay with it because I am where I am, but, again, what does that mean they don't want me as a girl, as a girl, they don't want me as a drummer for their band for their project, because I'm a girl, okay, well what does that mean well it means one of two things for me i distil it down and I say well, either. That means that I have to be so good at what I do, that being a goal is completely inconsequential to the situation, or I'm so good that they have to ignore the fact that they didn't want to go in the first place. Side note, I totally nailed this audition with this band back in the day when they said exactly that the singer was literally like, we need a new drummer I said I would love to play with your band he said no we don't want to go and I said, Well, just give me a chance, let me just come and audition I went an audition ended up getting it very happy with that. But what does that mean okay just got to work harder, so I made sure that I knew everything I made sure that I was like, on it, all of that sort of stuff. And yeah, and it worked. But then even further than that, what I realised was okay, they don't want me because I'm a girl, and by the way that can be like that word girl can be substituted for so many things it can be because I'm a boy, it's because I'm a gospel drummer, it's because I'm too tall and yes, there has been gigs where there's been height restrictions and, but anyway, when you distil it down even further, rather than, you can go down that, well I'll just be so good that that's going to be irrelevant, and that's a great place to be if you want motivation to get better at what you're doing. But another side thing is for what does that mean, well, that also means that maybe I don't want to be spending time with people that to value the fact that I'm a girl, or whatever. They value that more than being a good musician. If that's what's more important to them. Oh, it sounds good to stop them from doing things. Oh, that's not ideal, so maybe I don't want to be hanging out with people like that. So again, from that negative sort of like self thought of like, Oh no, they don't want me because I'm a girl, I go to, well, I work harder and plus, I don't really want to be around people like that anyway, when when we when positive, positive, positive, so that is a good one. And I actually wrote these down because I thought I know what's gonna happen I'm going to forget them. So, the next one that I wanted to sort of like do as an example because I thought about this one as well. Through a conversation with another drummer called Jonathan Atkinson who is so there's two drummers on the Kim Wilde gig, and here's the other drummer, or rather, I'm the other drummer, he was there first for like 15 years and then I muscled my way in and now I'm the other drummer, and we were having a coffee, and we were talking about the fact that when you're home from being on tour. If the phone isn't ringing, then a lot of your self worth, sort of like goes with that. So if the if the phone isn't ringing. Oh, that must mean that I'm not good enough, nobody wants me, you know, blah blah blah, all these negative thoughts, all these insecurities. So what does that mean, what does it mean that no one's calling. Well, it might mean that you're not good enough. Okay, well what does that mean, again, either get better at what you want to be doing. Or, and this is where I let me write the rules on what I decide is, you know, success, or me being good enough or anything like that, let me take control of that because, as anyone knows that has been following me for long enough. I'm a complete control freak, complete control freak, and you know, that side has its downsides. But one of the things that I recognise is that things like valuing myself, if I can be the one that's in control of, you know how I see myself, am I good enough all that if I can be the one that decides I'm going to do that. So, from that thing of the phone isn't ringing therefore I'm not good enough, okay well what does that mean that means I need to take control. And it was, you know, it wasn't long, in fact it was before that but I sort of connected the dots that that's the reason for starting my own business, that's the reason that I started Emily drums, calm, and it was because I parted ways with the darkness, and I was just like nobody's gonna call me, and I don't like this feeling, I don't like the feeling of being out of control and like, you know this, this isn't good so let me how can I how can I do this let me take a positive action so that I can feel in control, and that's how me drones.com started that was six years ago, five years ago, five years ago 2016 And I honestly it's one of the best things I ever did for my life because I now decide if I'm good enough. It's literally down to me. So, as I say that one negative thought of like all the phone isn't ringing maybe I'm not good enough, became a business became my own self worth, that I get to create every day if I decide to and I get to put work in it. So I think, Yeah, if you can find a way to switch around those negative thoughts, and they can be like statement thoughts like that. I'm not good at. I'm not good enough, they don't want me because of X, Y, Zed blah blah blah whatever, or it can be an overarching feeling as well, for instance, I have a massive fear of failure, massive, well, actually I should say this, I have a massive fear of failure when it comes to working with other people, other artists, if it's my own thing. I kind of don't have that because I feel like I'm just experimenting a lot, even like this, this is kind of an experiment to me and just seeing how it goes and it's going very well by the way, can I just say the experiment is having good results. But if I'm working with someone else, I have a massive fear of failure and yes there is still that underlying feeling of I'm not good enough. But again, the fear of failure, just makes me work harder. It's like, so I always remember this conversation I was on a tour bus and it was whilst I was playing with Howard Jones, and he said something about me being so prepared or something like that or, or, I can't remember what it was, it was, it was something really nice and it was a compliment and that's something else that I don't do well taking someone compliments me, I don't know what to do with it I have to like, I just, it makes me so uncomfortable so my response to that was, like, thank you. And the reason is because I'm absolutely terrified of failing and that's why I work so hard and he was like, Oh, is that lie yeah that's basically how I run my life. So like I say these things can be used as like positive like spins and the way that I say if a negative thought, if you can turn it to make you take a positive action, you're literally golden if you can work that out about yourself and it is very personal. And it does come down to your own experience and what I will say right now is because I'm about to go into the questions I know this has been quite a short little rant for me and I will go into the questions in a minute, if you're feeling brave, and don't feel you have to but if you want to share some of your beliefs that might have sort of held you back. Oh, you might see as inherently negative. If you've turned them around in some way, I'd love to hear that I love hearing how people do that, or we can just chat like, that's fine too. So I will go to the questions in the room. No, no, not in the room sorry I've been sent some questions sorry my screen is down here. So I've been sent some questions that I will go through right now and then I will go into the room, if you're listening back or watching back this after the fact and you want to come and join us live. All you need to do is subscribe so sign up at Emily is live.com You can, like say you'll be sent the link and come on watch live and come and ask questions. Watch me ramble on like a mental person, or on that website there's also just a regular question box, and that is where I'm getting these questions from now. And they are mainly very anonymous so apologies if you are watching right now and go that's my question. Just tell me because then I can be like oh I do okay great so I've had a few questions. A couple of them are fairly sort of like short, but this first one I think is brilliant, it's very in depth, so I guess let me just get on with it. So, this person who says, has said, Sorry, I'm a drummer in a band, and there are four of us, we started out by saying that, and we started out by saying we would have equal splits. Suddenly two of the members decided otherwise without notifying us. I am already resentful and we haven't even made any money yet. I write the drums and strongly believe a drummer who writes, and works their butt off should get an equal split. What do drummers normally get. We haven't signed a band agreement yet but, but have already recorded songs, isn't it true that without signing something, stating, otherwise all members on a recording own equal shares. What do you suggest I do and say in order to get my point across, and stand up for myself right there is so much to this question, but I did want to answer because it's, I don't think, I don't feel that I could do a whole episode on this and I'll tell you why. Because it's because I have not truly been a proper part of a band, I know I was part of the darkness for about a year and I'll talk about that in a second. But what I will say in my experience, so you've just started a band and there's four of you. Now, there are no rules when it comes to splits. Absolutely not. And it's the biggest reason that I see that bands fall out with each other band members fall out with each other. Now, let's take this back a second, the way that I see a band is kind of likes, there's four of you. Now if I were the drummer in your band. If I were you. Literally, it's kind of like, you know how like in life, right, gonna get comfortable you know like how in life. In an ideal world, you would find a partner, someone that you would like to spend the rest of your life with you have very similar values, or maybe you challenge each other in a really great right, great way, but you're like a team you know and it's the two of you against the world and that is awesome and maybe you have a family or maybe you don't. Or who knows. But the point is there's this this synergy there's this common goal, there's a lot of values that are shared in a band. It's exactly the same, it's about finding those 234 Other members that share those same values, you share that same goal. And that's, you know, aside from the music obviously musically, you need to be in the same like the same place or there needs to be some sort of synergy there as well. So, what I'm reading from this is that maybe the two guys that have decided otherwise without telling you. To me that seems like a bit of a mismatch, and I, if I were in your shoes, it maybe I maybe would cut ties and or maybe not cut ties, I'd have a conversation first and just express and say look, you know, this is how I feel about the situation. You know, I always cite this band as a great example of treating each other equally and that's YouTube. As far as I'm aware, now I should have done this research before I came live, but I haven't theory. And as far as I'm aware they split everything five ways even so between the four band members and their manager, and they are all equal and that's including in songwriting, because the thing is, and I appreciate this, if you're all in a room, writing a song. Your presence is affecting it. So if I were in a band just to make it simple, I would split it four ways, but then that's how it is, for me that's just what I think makes sense, it's going to create the least amount of conflict and friction later on, but there needs to be a conversation, because it isn't a given, and never as a given, and you know there's that you know you hear about these these cases of people claiming that they wrote this part the song you know, down to the line sometimes like the actual like vocal line or whatever. Well I wrote that line and that person wrote that line and these days with production teams, sometimes there's like 10 Different songwriters writing one song for a pop artist, it's crazy, but it doesn't need to be a conversation and I think if you can just really yeah have that conversation. Without getting too emotional because it is emotional is difficult and because you've already written stuff together. I think if you're in the room together. The ideal thing is an equal split, But the reality is as drummers, we don't get writing the flat, like it's just the way it is. Now, the reason I wanted to mention the darkness because that was an interesting situation where I came in at the point that the album was pretty much written, they done the demos, all the parts were done add hood, add the drama before me had the original drummer, I should say, Yo G had already written the parts with the band recorded them on demo tracks and I was kind of like taking them and interpreting them and, essentially, not quite copying them but pretty much, you know, just putting my vibe on it I suppose. Apart from there were two songs, one of which was mudslide and I'd love to tell you what the other one is but I can't remember off the top of my head right now. Ah, that's so good, and it gets to those two songs when we went into record them we did two weeks of pre production. And in those two weeks we ended up rewriting two songs. Now, the starting point of the songs had nothing to do with me at all, but we did change a few things. Now I didn't even speak to them at all about any sort of writing thing because, as a drummer, I just assume, like you know just drums and I'm in New in the situation I don't really you know, it's, I chose to not even address it, they addressed it with me and they said, Look, you were a part of this, cuz you create the parts. We're all in a room together and they offered me a percentage, and I was like, you know, that is such an like that is the correct way to handle yourself, I think, and I didn't even realise it and it was just something that I really appreciated because it made me feel valued, and I think that's what it comes down to if you don't feel valued in your band. That's probably not the bound for you. If those people don't share the same values as you, they're probably not the people for you so I would say maybe, first we'll have the conversation, and then maybe look at other options. If it's not, you know, looking like things are gonna work out. And I know that's probably not what you necessarily want to hear but I think if you're starting out, and this is the situation, unless it gets addressed now it's only going to get more difficult. So, yes, sorry, that was a bit of a long answer, but I'm not necessarily very clear cut this is what you should do but yeah, or could do I should say never should always could be Yeah. Anyway, that's what gets right. The next one's a little more lighthearted because I thought right I knew that that first question was going to be quite in depth, but the second one pineapple on pizza, discuss, very quick. Yes, I am all for it. I know people don't like it I love I love pineapple in savoury foods so pineapple and pizza. I do this lovely pineapple fried rice is so delicious, it's unbelievable my sister can't stand it it's hilarious. But anyway, yeah I was gonna go into stores like, don't, don't go there anyway. And the third question that I got and can I just say, also I do get a lot more questions but they're more whole episode subjects for people to like us all to museums, so these are just the short ones. This last third question so I will be coming to the room live in a second is how is the feeling of being back on stage. It's amazing, also exhausting. We had two gigs this last weekend. It was so much fun and just, I just feel back at home, you know, just being able to play live in front of an audience with essentially my friends, my family on stage there and the Kim walk camp truly are like family, it's, it's just so fun. And to be able to show that to an audience, again, it's just, it feels like such a privilege, it always had, but it really really does now. Also, exhausting because obviously just how long it's been 18 months of no playing live, and then suddenly you're all on the vibe and it's like zero to 1000 in like a second and, oh, it's amazing. It's so good I got another gig this weekend in Leeds, and yeah, it's gonna be awesome. Right, so let's head to the chat so Oh, Fernando Riviera Neto is in Hello Fernando How are you, Are you well. So Arno says yes I made it trying to follow this light live stream where they're loudly barking dog in the background. Oh, well I was about to hope that's not here and I've just sort of like the frequency of dog bark has completely gone from my hearing but I know it's lovely to see your lovely to have you here. So, I'm David from an says, When can I get a quote. Oh, I see. Now, David, I'm not sure when what you mean I'm going to assume that you mean, at Emily drums, calm, so I, I record drums remotely, and my new studio is currently being built, you can probably get a quote in, I'm hoping, November, I can't believe it initially my studio was meant to be done, probably two weeks ago, but materials you know is like things just get pushed back so we're hoping November so yes, get in touch then David because you know I would love to play on some of your music. Min cat drums says height restrictions. Is that why you didn't get the Smurfs gig. Yes, and I wasn't blue enough either. But, yeah, no, it's, it's, this is what I mean about the sort of like negative thoughts that you might have that either you have about yourself or you think other people might have about you, they're ludicrous absolutely ludicrous. You have no idea why you might not get a gig, and even if you do, it's then it's insane just, You know, the bottom line is, just try and take a positive action from a negative thought, and if you can get that right, and I'm not saying I always get it right, not even slightly but and I still catch myself but if you can strive to do that, then it's definitely a good way of dealing with things. and, but yeah, I, I really wish I could share what the gig is, but that they had height restrictions because it's just hilarious to me like absolutely hilarious. But anyway, it's all good. So Matthew North says my checklist for finding musicians is very long. Yeah, this is the thing I, it's, I've been in a few bands over the years from when I was a teenager, and what I suppose the last one was the darkness, and it, it's, it's hard. It's really hard finding like minded musicians, not just musically, it's, if anything, the musical side of it is actually the smallest part of being in a band and the reason I say that is because and it's the same on a session gig, you know, you, you are with those people if you're in a band, your family, your team basically married to them, you will be spending 24 hours a day together, seven days a week together. And, yes, of course, you know, your thoughts and your feelings and and all these things aren't going to be completely perfectly together all the time. That's just not how life works, but there needs to be some fundamental things that you value that are the same and it's things like being co writers together and and appreciating each other for being the unit that you are and and treating each other with respect, I think is so important and it. I just think it's so important that I there's really not a lot more than I can, that I can say on that front, really, the music is almost no secondary but they need to feel like a family, and that's the same on session gigs, I will say the difference between being in a band and being in the session gig, a session gig is a lot easier to leave. If you're not a full member, you can just sort of say, Look, I can't do this anymore or whatever I'm gonna have to move on or whatever, they can replace you and there's something really freeing about that. The fact that you are replaceable, because it's a mismatch, that's fine, that's fine, you just got to be yourself and find your tribe as it were, find your people and and just be able to be yourself as much as you can and sometimes it's not appropriate to be completely yourself and you do have to be like a little more professional than you would be if you're a session player versus if you're in a band, then you really can be yourself but again there's that trade off for finding the right people to be part of that team and it's the same not just with the musicians, moving forward, it's the management it's you know it's all those sorts of things. You know the crew, all of that you want a good team. If you don't have a good team. Oh, you're kind of, there's gonna be friction, and that's before you're even trying to do anything which is it's just difficult is so difficult. Matthew says one, are they a good player, and two, are they a nice person and that is a that is a good list, list, Matthew, I completely agree with you that those are very important. GRAEME says to Matt 100% That can't understand people who don't think like that, I know, I mean, but it's shocking to me, how many situations I've seen, not necessarily been in but I've seen that. Either they're not a good player. Oh my gosh, so many or they're really not nice people, and you've just paid you want to spend your life with it like, think about it like this. Let's go back to this band situation, if you're really successful. Do you really want to be in that environment, like an almost it's like golden handcuffs almost, you know, super. Am I successful but you know you're like the next Rolling Stones legends, and you hate each other, or you don't respect each other or you can't communicate. Life isn't just about success on that level. For me, it's just not, it's, it's about lifestyle, it's about environment, the people that I want to surround myself with, and yeah so I just say be very careful about entering into anything, and you know that might mean that you decide you want to go off and be a solo eyes. That's totally fine that's absolutely fine you have every reason to do whatever you deem right, you know, I mean. So anyway, Graham says I'm imagining the height restricted gig with a really really low ceiling and everyone banging their heads. So I tell you I probably can tell you the reason why it's height restricted, although I like your reason better open buffet Graham, and the reason was the majority are like, oh man was just gave away. All right, so anyway, the reason was that the artist was quite small and they didn't want to make them look smaller. And it wasn't Prince by the way, I will say that Prince is Prince mancat drums Carl says, beautiful South slash Paul Heaton, always used to split everything equally. Yes. See, it's just, I think it's definitely the way to do things, and I don't know whether that's just me saying it from a drummers perspective because we don't get writing credit, or get credits and splits, by, you know, that's just by default and it's understandable, you know, it's understandable that you can copyright, a melody, or is it up to seven notes I think it is if it's seven notes in the same order, then that's copyright, but drums copyright drums, it's impossible because, I mean, although there are many, you know, different beats you can play on ways you can play. Realistically, there's only really a few sort of like very well used beats so it's just it's just difficult it's a difficult thing but I think the the element of being in the room together if you're in the room you're writing together equal split, that's what I say, grande says always feels very familiar to me when Emily talks about the fear of failing in front of other people. That's the way my mind works to being super prepared is often the way I tried to cope 100% That is my way of coping, I, if any situation if I feel fearful, I make a plan to eliminate that fear and that's usually by over overcompensating with how prepared I am for something that's generally how I work, and it has its drawbacks like anything, but actually it is definitely the reason that I think I get a lot of games because people know they can rely on me, they probably don't know why they can rely on me, they probably don't know the deep rooted fear and feelings and thoughts that I have, but what they do know is the results that I give and they know that if I rock up on a gig. I'll do the job and I'll do it as well as I can. That is for sure I know that about myself, and Matthew says pineapple is a winner, too. We have another pineapple fan. Maybe that's what should be the baseline of whether you should be in a band with someone, or relationship with someone is like pineapple because Tony likes pineapple and oils straws anything grande says yay more pineapple on pizza fans. I wasn't expecting this response, I feel like I thought I was in a minority of liking pineapple on pizza but there we go. Matthew says mooncup John's my mate Patty does their lights. Oh, beautiful South is that, in fact, oh he in the tech for Kim also does probably and I think I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure that's you like, oh I can't remember. Jack is you. Hello, Jack. So Jack has been quite prominent on my Instagram recently and it's lovely to have you in the room as it were on this live because yeah you're fairly new to me and person so welcome to you so Jack is saying, hi m I was sitting waiting, thinking you're on Instagram. Yes, sorry about that. I've now you've said that I realised that thing I put on Instagram did not denote that I was going live on YouTube but this is why I asked people to sign up so it's kind of like a safe environment that we can all just chat about stuff because as I'm saying all this stuff, I wouldn't just be saying what I just, I probably will be saying this to anyone, but I feel very safe. So speaking about mental health, my vulnerability is all that sort of stuff all the negative stuff that happens in my brain to you guys because it does feel like a safe space, you guys are cool, like, I feel like we can all relate on a level which is really really nice. Graham says, I once had a pizza with Banano. That was actually really good. Graham, who you are testing my boundaries of savoury. I love plaintain, but even Clinton I don't think I could have won a pizza. Oh if I said that to my sister as well she would freak out, she doesn't like pineapple on savoury foods but she like she actually got a finger of bananas, I probably shouldn't be saying this. She's gonna kill me. But yeah so bananas. Oh, I try it in my gut. What else was on it. What else was on the pizza thing manana and tomorrow doesn't sound fun to me. Please tell me what else was on this date so because it's stressing me out, Charlotte baby is here. Hello Charlotte Baby How are you, are you well how's the house move going child has been painting her house for the last like couple of weeks, she moved house a couple of weeks ago looks lovely. Jack says Graham. Also add dried coconut flakes with the banana. I love dried coconut flakes, but this is starting to turn into muesli on pizza I'm so confused. What, what is going on. And I yeah, really could please tell me about this, this year. The Nona mozzarella and tomato. I can't. I'm not sure. I'm not convinced, Graham says that sounds like something I'm going to try Graham you Oh, you got a report back to us on that front. So, may sell says m do teach the drums like Charlotte does. No, I think I spoke about this last week actually. So, I know in the traditional sense, I offer, like, one on one coaching I suppose just, you know, if you're looking to expand parts of your career, whether that's business wise, whether that's touring recording whatever is, I'm happy to discuss that and I do offer that as a kind of a one on one sort of coaching session. But in terms of actually teaching drums, don't offer that and the reason is that I really hold in high regard, the role that a teacher plays for a student. So I've been so lucky. I've had brilliant teachers over the years, the, the lady, the one that I've had for the longest and still have technically although I haven't had a lesson in probably about a year, or maybe two years of the pandemic, I suppose, is my dog bear. And the reason that he's so good is, and the reason that I am not a teacher is not just because he's brilliant at the physicality of teaching. He's also amazing at the consistency that I think that a teacher, a student needs so he or I would always have weekly lessons, and that's because he is a teacher, full time and that is what he does. So he's able to be like right every Wednesday for instance, at 5pm, coming over lesson. I'm not able to offer that. And I think that that is a massive. You know I I'm not comfortable with not being able to be consistent for my students because I think consistency is everything in life, just generally, and if my teacher couldn't provide that for me, I would not, I would not be their student it's as simple as that. And for that reason, I am not a teacher, I may be at some point I may be when I'm maybe off the road or whatever but at the moment, I like the very thing that I love about my job is the fact that, You know I can be, you know, a couple of months on tour a couple of weeks in the studio, and then off doing something else I don't know like a show or I don't know something, like, it can be many things or maybe I just go on holiday for a week. I'm quite flexible in my life and I like that at the moment so I'm not saying never, but, yeah, that's why I don't currently teach that was a really long winded answer wasn't it for such a simple question. Jake Brett is here. Hello, Jake, how are you. Hello. Sorry I'm late. What did I miss, I'll catch up on the podcast yes we were just talking about how, if you can turn around any sort of negative thoughts into positive actions, that's kind of the headline of all of this because I realised that that was a big reason that I was, I've been able to, you know, be successful in my eyes is because I managed to harness those, those inherently horrible thoughts, and by the way, I will say it doesn't mean that you should necessarily indulge, those negative thoughts. I certainly don't I think I used to do a lot. And, and honestly they made me miserable. But I recognise that they also drove me in a really good way and even down to like, even in a, in a petulant child kind of way like I will show you, and that can be the I'll show you in the head or the I'll show you of someone saying something negative, literally, when I was, oh I want to say 13 Something like that. I remember distinctly being in school. And I'd been playing drums for a couple of years, and a girl came up to me and said, What do you think, did you think you're a boy or something, do you think you're going to be this like famous drummer and just being really mean. And in my head I was very quiet, I was quiet anyway. And I just remember thinking, I'll show you what this was what I said in my head. This is going to give you a good timeline. One day, I'm going to be on Top of the Pops, and you're going to watch me and go, I used to know that girl. That is what I used to say to myself, in my head and Top of the Pops doesn't exist anymore, so there we are never fulfilled but yeah, things like that really drove me, and I knew that I could always go back to my drums, no matter what was going on and whatever people said so. There we go. Matthew North says, I did spend a long time in bands with the wrong people. It destroyed all confidence I HAD, Once I made the break everything fitted into place. Yeah, I think. Do you know what, I think I had a very similar experience. I started out in bands, I was in bands till I was 19. And what I slowly kept you know I loved those bands like so much, they were my family, I am adored them, but with each of them, it kind of the kind of, I don't know how to say this, but I gradually realised that the people that I was with weren't people that I wanted to be around, necessarily, and, and whether that was because their goals weren't the same as mine, or whether it's because some of their views were very not in line with mine and that was outside of music, and I was like, I don't want to be associated with these people. I don't want to be around them, it's just not nice. Like, it's not. Either it's negative energy or literally just awful behaviour things, even simple things like treating other people badly, the one in our camp if you like, if I saw that happening, or you better believe us one of the quickest ways to get me out of a situation, whether that's a band or a gig, if I see disrespect towards people that either think that if it's in our camp or out of our camp, I don't care if you're disrespectful to people, who is one of the worst ways to switch me off to any situation so yeah I gradually sort of realised that, okay, the people that I was surrounding myself with in these bands were. No, not quite, or, and they don't always start out well but it always ended up being this realisation or Alice's shame. And as I did that I realised that more and more that the session musician thing the Hired Gun. The freelance musician was the way to go for me because it gave me more flexibility, it gave me more choice, it gave me more opportunity to be around different people, and sometimes they were amazing people and I'd love to stay there for as long as I could, or wherever else, or sometimes it wasn't sometimes it was just like, oh, this is fine for a while, but then I need to move on so yeah I think it's just finding out what's right for you and as that question said you know if you really want to be in a band, then that's totally cool but you really got to spend time finding the right people with the right, not the right people, just people with the same values same goals, and that you enjoy spending time with at the end of the day, and that you respect they respect you, all that good stuff. Charlotte says my fear of failure is so large that I tried to prepare so much for the worst case scenario, haha. So this is interesting Charlotte because I am exactly the same. And I didn't realise, to the extent that I was, because until. Well, I'm sure I have realised this before but my memory is rubbish I forget. Last week I went to this really interesting conference so this is a tangent, there's this book called The Chimp Paradox if anyone's into any sort of like psychological stuff and understanding your brain Bay is an incredible book, I love it. Fascinating absolutely fascinating. I won't go into the premise, but there was this, this couple of days of like workshops basically that the author of the book and his team had put on in Sheffield, really interesting. I had a lot of fun. I learned a lot of stuff. And weirdly that I've often find this happens, I don't know about you guys but, so there's about 200 people there. There was one guy that walked in and he walked in and like everyone was sat on these big tables, and I looked at the guy and I bet he's a musician, anyway and lo and behold, he was, and I'm pretty sure we were the only two musicians in the whole of the place. But we got chatting, and he was asking one of the other guys about, you know when playing a gig, and if I play like a bum no or whatever and then it throws me off and whatever else. And what I realised was in terms similar to you, Charlotte. I think about when I'm going to any gig, I think about everything that could go wrong. Now this is very anxiety inducing I will say but what it means is I address everything that could go wrong, and what I would then do to rectify it. Now, this even extends to having dreams about what could go wrong. It's unbelievable, but things like, for instance, let's say when I was working with tricky for instance, I was quite new to using the Yamaha motor 12 So I started thinking okay well what could go wrong, okay well this pad could be too loud or sample could be too loud. All right, well, how would I do that now not just how would I do that, how would I turn it down and rectify that. Realistically it's going to happen whilst I'm playing to how would I do that with one hand, And I would practice this is, this is how insane I am, I would practice doing that, when I first started working with HD 24 Show Lloyd, I found out how to rectify anything that would go wrong with that. Okay, so if it breaks, if it goes down, what do I do I need to switch to the other machine okay how do I do that. Now realistically, I'm going to be playing, so how am I going to stop the machine whilst we're playing and then obviously wait to the end of the song and then switch over to the other machine because I'm pretty sure they weren't running in tandem, they may have been so maybe I learned that this was a while ago this was like 10 years ago so I can't quite remember that. And yeah, just things like that, everything that can go wrong. Let me work out a way of wrecked by what if my kick drum beat it goes through my head. Okay, what I can do is I can get some gaffer and I can go in through the front and just defer it up, and then if there's a chance. Well, I don't travel with an extra kick drum head so I'm just gonna have to do that more Gaffer, more often, sorted out, but because I'm like that. I sort of offered that as an explanation to this, this musician is a guitarist and a singer. And he was like, alright, yeah, okay, yeah, that that kind of makes sense, and the fact that people don't do that seems weird to me, but actually I'm realising that I'm probably the weird one, but I'm in good company because Charlotte thinks the same as me. So, and yeah and that can come down to also skills that I have in terms of like learning songs quickly. I know that if I chart a song. I can rely on that chart, it's going to be right, I can do it once and I know that if I get to a gig, it's going to be right, things like that, like just solve issues for me, or even down to like watching people on stage, understanding that certain guitarist when they go to a new section the guitar head will come up slightly and I'll understand that with tricky, a certain moves that he would do and I would know where we were going because he operates his gigs like he's a live DJ so he'll just go to whatever section that he wants and we have to follow. I would watch him and understand his moves, and just like go with him. So, yes, welcome to my brain. It's a crazy place. So Jake says very well thanks sounds like I'm missing good stuff, like, I hope it was good stuff, I guess you'll have to you'll have to watch it back and hopefully it'll be good. Jake says, I had a gig of the weekend five days notice but only about a day's worth of time to prepare around other commitments, had never heard that music before took it. Took it just to prove to myself I could do it. Yes, Jake, I am right, we have the same sadistic brain. When I get asked to do things. If my brain says to me, you can't do that. My mouth goes, okay. Now, it's a blessing and a curse for sure because it's great because it brings me into loads of new situations that I would never usually be in, and it makes me up my skills but again, it also opens me up to so much anxiety and stress but you know what Jay, kudos to you, you obviously absolutely nailed it. And I think that is, that kind of attitude of just like taking things on, in fact, so this reminded me, This isn't drums related or music related rule, but we were talking about me and my family, in fact was my mom and my sister may, we talk about Blackheath in London in South London. And my mom said, Isn't that way you did a centre run back in, it would have been cool 2009 Maybe 2008 I did a summer run is a five co run and it was in Blackheath, common, I suppose, is it, I don't know. And I don't run really, and my mum and my son said, Why did you do that. I said well, I decided when I was living with my friend, I was like, right. I want to start running. Now rather than just start running. I needed pressure. So, I decided I wanted to do this thing and then I signed up for a 5k run six weeks later went well that's happening and it was for charity. So, well that's happening so I better learn to run. And that's how I run my life, that's, you know, The Voice Kids, perfect example, I was sat down with the musical director, having a coffee, he said, Are you interested in doing this gig, and in my head I went heavily, you can't read music, to the degree that that gig needs you to read music, and I was sat there and I was like, yeah, yeah. Yep. Let's do it. And then I panicked and then I got together a practice schedule and it worked, and now I can read music, but I often put myself in that situation, Cher Lloyd, he can handle playback on you. Yeah, yeah, knew, but I learned, and it's fine. Same with, I don't know, I don't even know just many gifts like that is again is the quickest way to get me to say yes to a gig, if it's giving me a new skill or exposure to a new genre, or even to a new like audience or crowd like a new, like, yeah I'm just like, Yeah, I'll come do that, that sounds interesting, and I, it's not that I get bored easily, but I definitely like a challenge that is just my, my brain that's how I work, and I know that about myself and that's okay because somebody will completely the opposite. Some people love the security of playing one gig for a long time, and I really admire that in a lot of ways, is things, okay perfect example, I really don't enjoy rehearsals, mainly because I do a lot of work before rehearsals, so I come prepared and it's literally for me just exercising, running things and maybe changing a few things but not a lot. It's not about learning as we go. I'm ready when we're in rehearsals, like when we start rehearsals, I can essentially do a gig, from that first day, essentially. But, I have friends that know wrestlers, and if they are in a situation with. So we've got a month rehearsals for this tour, they love it and I'm like, That would be my hell. I can't deal with it, can't deal with being in the same spot, like, doing the same thing, playing the same songs for a month on end. Oh goodness. Yeah, it's a lot. So, yeah, like I say, I think you've just got to find what works for you, what makes you happiest really I love I love change chopping and changing and all sorts of different things happening, and even if it is in one spot like in my studio. I'm always playing different music every day I'm always playing with different artists every day I'm always talking to different people every day, and that makes it really interesting to me. So yeah, just totally grab hold of what makes you tick, I think that's I think that's what I'm trying to say. So, my soul says, This is great. Oh, thank you very much me so it's so lovely Tabby as always. Moon cat drum says the variety of bands I play in all forced me to use different skills, playing to a clip using electronics, etc. Call. We are cut from the same cloth, I like to say I feel exactly the same and I've been like that since I was a kid. So, even from my very first. Oh, well that was interesting, wasn't it. I don't know why, but my camera decided to just switch itself off maybe it's sick of me and that's totally fine. But anyway, as I was saying. Call. Call. I'm exactly as I Excuse me. Yeah, the variety of bands I play in and have done since I was a kid. They always have a purpose. And, sorry I'm just checking that everything is okay, right. Yes, this is fine. Now your audio from the camera. Yes it is. So, yeah, depending on where I'm at in my career so coming out of school for instance, I wanted to be playing to audiences outside of school so that was my reason for joining a band later on it was moving into different genres or like to say playing to a click, that was a whole new thing the first time that happened, or, yet it just depends on the situation, anything that makes me grow. I will absolutely take on with both hands I will grab hold of it and shake it and get everything out of it. So, and right most houses. Yeah, now your audio is from the camera, it's different. Matthew sounds better here. Well, that's hilarious. I definitely was trying to get the better audio from using an external mic but maybe I shouldn't be doing that. So may Sal says, How's the studio bill going yes it's going well, very well. I think I mentioned earlier, I think we're still good. Hopefully six weeks away, hopefully, fingers crossed, it's, yeah, I really miss having a space to play in and to create in. I'm just lucky I get to do things like this, though, that really you know makes me so happy so very grateful. But anyway, I'm going to love you and leave you on that note, thank you so much for everyone that's joined me today, sorry that my camera just went a little bit iffy and just wasn't having it. One of those things isn't it's just technology, it was the the internet connection is good. Oh, let's talk about the internet connection for a second so the place where I'm live streaming from because 600 megabytes download speed and 300 megabytes, upload speed. How unbelievable is that. And, oh, but with the audio camera, we have some background noise yeah this computer is working hardcore I've got a lot of things going right now. So Matthew North says, probably because it's a little louder because it's closer. Definitely more bass in it so the TV news picture editor in me. I love it right, guys, I'm gonna love you I'm gonna leave you, I will be back next week with another subject. Thank you for joining me, and yet, as always, if you want to join in live or ask me any questions at all, go to Emily is live.com And yeah, you can sign up, you'll get a live link 15 minutes before I go live, or you can just ask a question on that website too. Anyway, I'm going to go. Enjoy the rest of your week. Enjoy your weekend and I will see you soon. All right, Let's love you guys having the space to play. Fine. But as I was saying, call.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
